SONGVILLE SAYS (Great Quote #20 - Anton Chekhov)

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."
- Anton Chekhov

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Jonathan Coulton Demonstrates Super Cool Lyric Technique

One of Songville's fine neighbours, Spencer Capier, just sent me this video for "The Future Soon" by Jonathan Coulton. The song is a quirky and charming piece of writing, and it happens to illustrate a secret lyrical weapon that's hard to explain but can really make a song flow.

In each verse of this song, certain lines end in words that rhyme with the previous line, but then flow on to another word. It gives the song a wink and a roll that it wouldn't otherwise have. Check it out and consider putting this particular tool (or some variation of it) in your lyrical toolkit.



Pay special attention to these lyrics:

Excerpts from The Future Now (Jonathan Coulton)

Verse 1:

Last week I left a note on Laura's desk
It said I love you signed anonymous friend
Turns out she's smarter than I thought she was
She knows I wrote it, now the whole class does too ...

Verse 2:
I'll end world hunger I'll make dolphins speak
Work through the daytime, spend my nights and weekends ...

Verse 3:
I'll see her standing by the monorail
She'll look the same except for bionic eyes
She lost the real ones in the robot wars
I'll say I'm sorry, she'll say it's not your fault
Or is it?

See what we mean? Do you have any other examples of this technique?

Write Better Lyrics #6: Is Your Lyric Passive Where it Could Be Active?

It's been pretty quiet around here lately -- the Mayor of Songville has been preoccupied with sick family members. However, we're back and open for business and ready to ask our 6th Important Lyric Question. Thanks for your patience!

In our Write Better Lyrics Series, we've been talking about key questions to ask of your lyrics to take them to the next level. So far we've looked at making sure that your SUBJECT MATTER MATTERS, that your lyric has the power that comes from SIMPLICITY AND PURITY, that you are using SPECIFIC IMAGES that are HIGHLY RELATABLE, and that you represent ABSTRACT IDEAS WITH AS MANY CONCRETE ELEMENTS AS POSSIBLE.


We are now ready to ask Lyric Question No. 6:
IS YOUR LYRIC PASSIVE WHERE IT COULD BE ACTIVE?

We've been talking about the fact that the way a listener is engaged in your song is through the imagination. The imagination is a stimulus-response mechanism; when it hears a lyrical cue (the stimulus) it searches through a bank of remembered experiences to respond with a corresponding image. We've already noted that specific, concrete images spark the imagination most strongly. But there is an additional factor. As a general rule, the more ACTION involved in an image, the more vividly it engages the imagination.

Those of you writing in a worship genre should pay special attention to how biblical writers tapped into the human need for action. "Praise God" becomes "Raise your hands!" or "Fall on your face!" or "Shout for joy!" or "Dance in His presence!" Think about the concrete, specific, active images employed for spiritual devotion: Moses' buddies holding up his arms so he can keep them outstretched to the heavens, the Israelites pouring out water to symbolize their repentance, Joshua and his crew marching round and round the city walls. Now THAT'S good writing.

So, your song is finished, and it's not bad, but it's just sort of lying there. Go through the entire lyric and search for places where you can replace passive images with active ones. "Falling on your knees" before a mystery is better than "contemplating" a mystery. "Going" in circles is weaker than "running" or "crawling" in them. If you've got a whole verse of exposition, see if you can't replace a line or two with some good, vivid verb-laden action. Your listeners will thank you for it by listening.

Next Post in This Series: Lyric Question No. 7. Bookmark or subscribe to Songville to make sure you don't miss it!

Write Better Lyrics #4: Is Your Lyric Obscure Where It Could Be Relatable?

We're working our way through 16 key questions to ask in order to move your lyrics from so-so to so-great. So far I've talked about making sure that your SUBJECT MATTER MATTERS, that your lyric has the power that comes from SIMPLICITY AND PURITY, and that you are using SPECIFIC IMAGES to engage your listener's imagination. (Kudos to Tony Chung, who commented that: "specific terms give your listeners a general idea, where general terms won't give your listeners anything.")

It's time for lyric question No. 4:
IS YOUR LYRIC OBSCURE WHERE IT COULD BE RELATABLE?

Songwriting is HARD. Yes, the more personal something is, the more universal. And yes, specific, detailed images with authentic importance to the songwriter translate much better than vague generalities. BUT, the caveat to all this personal expression is that the specifics you chose to incorporate in your lyric must have universal resonance to them.

Huh?

Some specifics mean something to a larger audience, and some don't. "Worn gray sock" will conjure up an image for a lot of people. "Worn hydraulic actuator" is only going to mean something to a very select group of engineers. And the symbolic power of the image might be lacking.

This seems like an obvious point, but a lot of developing songwriters err on one side or the other of the scale -- lyrics that are too general, or lyrics that are so obscurely specific they only mean something to the writer and perhaps her mother. So be sure to test out your images -- sing your song for people and ask them what it means to them. One of the wonderful mysteries of creative expression is that your song will likely mean different things to different people. That's cool. But be concerned if your song means nothing to someone -- if your content is so obscure that your listener is just shut out.

So, once you've gone through your lyric and replaced any general concepts with detailed, specific images, remember: a songwriter's work is never done! Go through your lyric again and replace any obscure images with more relatable (but still detailed and specific) ones. Your listener will thank you for it by ... listening.

Of course there are always exceptions that prove the rule. Can you think of a powerful song that contains an obscure element or image? Share it in the comments section!

Also, don't miss Lyric Question Number 5! Bookmark Songville or Subscribe (for free!) to be alerted when there are new posts.

Write Better Lyrics #3: Is Your Lyric General Where it Could Be Specific?

OK, so your SUBJECT MATTER MATTERS and your lyric has the power that comes from SIMPLICITY AND PURITY. But your lyric still ain't singing the way you know it can.

It's time for lyric question No. 3:

IS YOUR LYRIC GENERAL WHERE IT COULD BE SPECIFIC?

The way to a listener’s heart, mind and soul is the imagination. In this media-saturated world, if we fail to engage a person at the imagination-level, we won’t keep her for long. Fortunately, there are Imagination Scientists who study the way the human imagination works. (I love picturing guys in white lab coats with pocket protectors playing AC/DC, Randy Travis and Sara Groves for human subjects and measuring corresponding brain waves. Then again, if that's what amuses me, perhaps I need a new hobby.)

Anyway, whenever I teach songwriting at a local college, I reference the work of a writer and researcher named Chris Blake. His intriguing article, “The Imagination of the Listener” can be found in The Craft and Business of Songwriting (in my view, the definitive songwriting textbook) by John Braheny (p.46-56).

Blake notes that when the imagination receives a new cue (for example, words in a song or on paper), it constructs an image to go with that cue based on a whole host of stored previous experiences. It turns out that the strongest cues (collections of words) are simple, concrete, action-oriented images that invite the imagination to engage. Our next several lyric questions will key in on the ways we can best trigger the listener's imagination.

Specific images are more engaging than general ones. Most listeners, for example, will be able to picture a "single gray feather" better than they can picture "a flock of birds." So, take a look at your lyrics, and try the following:

1. Anywhere you mention a general place or thing, see if there is a more specific, evocative image that can replace the general reference.
One of my favorite examples of this is "Walkaway Joe", recorded by Trisha Yearwood and written by Vince Melamed and Greg Barnhill. The girl waits in a gas station parking lot as the guy robs the cashier ... the lyric says "She's waiting in the car/Underneath the Texaco Star". Not only do I have an immediate picture of where she is, there is also the resonance of all her misguided dreams as they relate to "stars". That there is good writing.

2. Add sensory information wherever you can. Don't just talk about a "car'. Let us know the make or the color or the way it smells or how the engine hums. Pull us in.

3. Bonus points for metaphoric resonance. "Chevy" or "Rolls" mean more than "car", not only because they're more specific (allowing us to picture the car better), but because they immediately put us into certain eras, social classes, or mentalities.

4. Pick specifics that have "universality" to them. In other words, provide specific images that people will be familiar with in some way. If a listener can't picture what you're describing, his imagination will be repelled.
Universality is subjective, of course. I love the specifics Lyle Lovett puts into songs, even when he includes the names of relatives (in a song like "Family Reserve"). Though I don't know his relatives, by referring to them by name he helps me relate to them as specific people rather than general concepts.
I debated long and hard about doing the same thing in a song called Great Cloud of Witnesses. I was afraid that by referring to my grandparents and friends by name I would shut the listener out. But in the end I decided that the specificity of their names made them more concrete. And listener reaction confirmed this. Don't be afraid to "test out" your specifics (you can even get a lab coat and pocket pretender if you want!) to see if they work.

Remember, specificity = engagement. Be ruthless with your lyrics. Don't let a lame duck, general idea just lay there when a specific image will so much more for you.

Next Post in This Series: Lyric Question No. 4. Bookmark or subscribe to Songville to make sure you don't miss it!

Till then -- can you think of a great lyric that thrives on specificity? Or do you disagree with this approach? What helps you engage with the words of a song?

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ALL TIME LYRIC? (TELL US -- AND MAYBE WIN STUFF!)

There's a series underway here at Songville about Writing Great Lyrics. But defining and identifying great lyrics is a subjective process. So ... we need to hear from you.

What is the one lyric you would hold up as great writing? What line makes you fist-pump or cry or gasp in astonishment? What lyric do you use as your email signature file or incessantly quote to your friends?

Please share it in the comments section below. Not only will your input help us all to think about what makes great writing work, you could also win stuff! On October 8, we'll draw randomly from the names of all who have commented, and we'll mail the winner their choice of any one CD or book from FeedtheLake.com.

So tell us ... what does a great lyric sound like? Include the lyric itself (anything from a single line to a stanza), the name of the song, the composer, and the name of the artist who recorded it (if different from the composer.) And feel free to argue or agree with each other about the merit of each lyric.

(Every time you comment, you get another entry in the draw. We know this is shameless bribery. But hey, the ends justify the means. This is a conversation worth having.)

{Update: The winner was announced here. Keep up the conversation!}

Write Better Lyrics: Is Your Lyric Complex Where it Could Be Simple?

Sometimes a lyric taunts its writer, stubbornly remaining almost-great despite repeated efforts to make it fully-great. In my previous post I promised to share 16 questions you can ask of your lyric in order to identify the tweaks necessary to take it from fine to fantastic.

Here is Lyric Question No. 2:

IS YOUR LYRIC COMPLEX WHERE IT COULD BE SIMPLE?

The goal of asking this question is NOT to dumb down your lyrics or pander to lowest common denominators. Deep and challenging lyrics are encouraged here! But think about the five most profound lines you've ever heard in song, poetry or prose. Chances are, part of what made those lines so brilliant was that they took a highly complex idea and made it suddenly clear.

When I suggest your lyrics be simple, I am really referring to this definition of simplicity:
- "Having or composed of only one thing, element, or part"
- "The quality of being simple or uncompounded; 'the simplicity of a crystal'"

You want your lyric to be brilliantly focused--crystal clear. So another way to ask Lyric Question No. 2 would be:

IS YOUR LYRIC DILUTED WHERE IT COULD BE PURE?

I can still remember my first publisher calling me after I'd mailed in my latest masterpiece and saying: "There's a good song in here somewhere. In fact there are 7 good songs in here. Pick the ONE THING this particular song is going to be about and write me 6 other songs with the rest." Over time (and via numerous less-than-effective, scattered songs), I learned that while complicated lines might dazzle and impress, simple, focussed lyrics stand a much better chance of engaging and moving a listener.

For each lyric you write, you should be able to identify a single, central idea (hopefully embodied in an undeniably great lyrical hook). Then, you should be able to draw a direct line of connetion from every other line of the song back to that central idea. If you find some rogue lines, remove them, no matter how amazing they are. They can be the foundation of your next masterpiece.

Take a look at your latest lyric. You should be able to summarize the concept of your song in 1 sentence, and the emotion of your song in 1 word. If you can't, continue to sift and refine until you can. Remember, you are writing a song, not a novel or essay or even a poem. The good news is, if craft and inspiration meet up and weather conditions are just right, a song can sometimes let you say more in a single line that you could with hundreds, even thousands, of other words.

Remember, focus = power. And simplicity does NOT equal stupidity or vacuity. We want the sort of undiluted purity that allows us, in the words of William Blake,

To see a World in a grain of sand,

And Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

Keep it real. Keep it simple. Keep writing.

Do you agree with the idea that the most profound lyrics are often the simplest and most focussed? Or do you actually prefer more enigmatic or complex writing? Argue your viewpoint in the comment section below!

Also, don't miss Lyric Question Number 3! Bookmark Songville or Subscribe (for free!) to be alerted when there are new posts.

Write Better Lyrics: Does Your Subject Matter Matter?

You've slaved over your lyric for hours, days, weeks, months, years. ("Years" is not uncommon, by the way. Rome wasn't written in a day.) But you have that nagging feeling that something isn't quite right. Unless you are an excessively-tortured-artist-who-is-never-satisfied (rather than the more normative periodically-tortured-artist-who-is-seldom-satisfied), your instinct is probably right: Your lyric needs more work.

But where to begin?

Over a couple of decades of banging my head against the songwriting wall, I've found myself asking the same 15 or so questions to try to get to the bottom of lyric problems. In the hopes of saving your forehead at least a little bruising, I'm going to share these questions with you.

So -- here is Lyric Question No. 1:

DOES YOUR SUBJECT MATTER MATTER?

The other questions we'll go through are much more applied and specific, but before you start analyzing the trees of your song, take a giant step back and look at the forest. Is this song justifying its space on the planet? That seems like a harsh question, I know, but some songs just plain don't work conceptually.

That doesn't mean the song has been a waste of energy. ALL time spent writing builds creative muscle. Plus, if a song turns out to be a write-off, you can strip it for parts (take the best lines and write something else.) For each song on my first album, I can show you ten others I needed to write in order to work my way to a keeper. The process is always valuable.

Still, lovely (and true) sentiments about the value of the journey aside, most writers prefer to arrive at satisfactory destinations. So, at each stage of the song's creation, ask yourself, DOES MY SUBJECT MATTER MATTER? In other words, is the idea I'm working on big enough or clever enough or funny enough or universal enough or moving enough or striking enough or original enough to support a whole, entire song?

The first time I ever had a co-writing session it was with a seasoned Nashville vet named Niles Borop. I was twenty-one and newly signed to a publishing deal; I was practically vibrating with excitement and nerves and ambition. I asked Niles what advice he had for a rookie and he said, "Never waste three and a half minutes of someone's time."

Niles told me that to reach out through a car radio ( he would have said "ipod," if it had been invented yet) and brazenly steal three or four minutes of a stranger's life is no small thing. He told me not to take it lightly, and I've been haunted by that sense of sacred responsibility ever since. (Gee, thanks Niles. Couldn't you have just said "Always end on the I chord?")

So now, I want to haunt you with the same question. Is this song worth your listener's time? It doesn't have to be War and Peace (in fact, it's probably better if it's not.) But it does have to be three important things:

1. The song's subject matter must matter to you.
You should have some sort of emotional connection with whatever it is you are writing about. It can be a subject you feel passionate about, or one that makes you laugh, but you cannot be indifferent to it. If you're indifferent, just imagine how your audience will feel.

When I signed my first publishing deal (which was primarily to write songs for other artists), I immediately started writing much more generic, non-personal songs, on the theory that if I put too much of myself into a song no other singer would be comfortable singing it. In actuality, what I was doing was writing Really Bad Songs. I wasn't invested enough in my subject matter, so the songs came out inauthentic and passionless. I learned over time that often the more personal something is, the more universal it is. Weird, but true.

2. The song's subject matter should matter to other people.
The whole world doesn't have to be into your subject, by any means, but some segment of the population should be able to find a point of connection. This is the caveat to the "Be-personal-to-be-universal" principle mentioned above: If what you're writing is SO unique to your own situation that no one else can relate, well, then, no one else will. They also won't listen very long.

3. There should be something about the song that makes it different from all other songs.
That sounds a bit daunting, doesn't it? But the truth is, however passionate you might feel about, say, breaking up with someone you love, and however much other people might be able to relate to your pain, there are already a LOT of songs about breaking up. Your song will only be compelling if you've found a hook or approach that is fresh or somehow unique. You don't have to reinvent the wheel, but you should spin it in an original way. We'll talk about this a lot more as we work through the other Lyric Questions.

You would think it would be obvious to a songwriter when the subject matter doesn't matter. But creativity, like love, is sometimes blind. You may need to get the feedback of a few trusted friends to determine if your song has a conceptual or foundational weakness. If it becomes apparent that such is indeed the case, do not despair! It may be possible to rework the song, or to take the strong portions and write something else. Regardless, you haven't wasted your time. Take what you've learned and apply it to subject matter that really matters to you.

Next post: Lyric Question No. 2

See you soon! Till then, write on.